This Ain't no Game; Heavy Rain Review

Movies are awesome, videogames are awesome, how bout a videogame that is basically a movie? If this sounds appealing than you'd better check out "Heavy Rain", the new PS3 game from Quantic Dreams, who were also behind one of my favorite PS2 games "Indigo Prophecy." This game trades in a health bar and points for a strong narrative and believable characters. The plot revolves around the "Origami Killer" a mysterious individual who has the nasty habit of murdering young boys. This should be a good indication that this is not a kids game, it is mature as all get out. There is language, violence, and even nudity but it all is done extremely tastefully. You go between four characters (a father, a detective, an FBI agent, and a journalist) all with a motive to find the Origami Killer. The best thing about this game is the pacing, you start as the father and you just go through a day in his life, there is literally a part where you brush your teeth. All the little interactions made me actually care about him, and one scene where he attempts to reconnect with his son actually tugged at the ol' heartstrings a bit. The characters can even die if you screw up enough so there were some times where i was really worried i'd accidentally get my characters killed, and i cared enough about them that i really tried to keep them alive. There is some technical wonkiness but not enough that it should keep you from enjoying this game. Oh yea and i forgot to mention, THIS GAME LOOKS AMAZING, the emotion conveyed is fairly impressive. This definitely gets a 5 0utta 5. Get the game, if you're still skeptical check out this awesome trailer.



Now go get a PS3 and this game... You're welcome

My Poor Brain; Reading Twilight

So back when the Twilight movie came out i started talking alot of yang about it, cause it's a misogynistic book about sparkly vampires. I was told numerous times that i can't make fun of something i haven't read. Well people, i'm puttin' my money where my mouth is and reading a copy of the first book. I've heard the most infamously bad lines, but over the next couple weeks i'll get the whole picture. I'll post a little update every few chapters, and at the end i'll will issue my ultimate verdict of how bad (or good?) "Twilight" is...pray for me... the movie is bad, there's not much argument there so im not touching that piece of crap.

My Trip to Bat Country; The Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Review

"Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" is a very strange movie, but in a very good way. Based on a Hunter S. Thompson novel, the story takes place in the early 70's as Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp) and Dr. Gonzo (Benicio del Toro) go to Las Vegas to cover a race, and find the American dream...with the aid of copious amounts of every drug ever created. This is the main reason the story is so bizarre because it's told from Depp's drug addled perspective which makes for a pretty odd, yet interesting take on Sin City. The acting is pretty good, there are only like four actors with dialogue. Depp is the main character so of course he gets the best of the script, but Benicio does a good job as a man who spends half his time out of his mind, and the other half acting as Depp's lawyer. If i have any issue with the movie it's that it is pretty hollow, the same problem any movie has that is based on a book. About a third of the way in it tries to start getting a message out which is a little late, but it has me interested in reading the book, which means it did it's job. If you can handle watching a balding Depp and a chubby Benicio del Toro going on drug benders and constantly hallucinating then this might be a good movie for you. It's weird, but a very likeable weird, and that's why it gets my highest rating so far of 3.5 outta 5. Next up is a little "indie gem" called "Suspended Animation", if you cant tell that was sarcasm, ive never heard of this movie, and as of this writing i've seen like ten minutes and...geeeeeez... Stay tuned!

"The Stepfather"--Review

So i love "suburban murder mysteries" like "Disturbia", "Rear Window" or the dozen made for tv movies that emulate them, and seeing trailers for "The Stepfather" really got me excited.

This trailer is kinda misleading, and it tricked me and left me feeling underwhelmed. The acting is pretty shoddy, even Dylan Walsh, who i really like on "Nip/Tuck", is just the typical "charming sociopath" pretty much to the t. The two people i really dislike though are the main characters, Michael and his girlfriend Amber. Michael is just kind of a d-bag and Amber...well im not sure why she's in this movie. Here's a fun game to play though, watch the movie, but pretend that Amber is a figment of Michael's imagination, it works, she just spouts his internal monologue, and i thought it made her more interesting.This is just another PG-13 movie that tries to reel in the young kids who can't see the R rated films. It attempts to cram in as much of the "edgy to tweens" music into it's soundtrack as it can, the plot is paper thin, and it's CLICHED as hell. It might be worth a rent if you've been able to put up with films like "One Missed Call" or "Stay Alive", cause the "suburban murder mysteries" are few and far between, but im not saying it's anything more than a 2.5 outta 5. This is a remake of a 1987 film of the same name, starring Terry O'Quinn, who you may know as Locke from "Lost." i will definitely check it out and do a comparison in the future.

The Greatest Comic Ever?

Gonna start workin on a comic soon, just gotta figure out how all that copyright mumbo jumbo works cause i really want to put it up somewhere on the internets without fear of idea theft. I've had this idea in my head for awhile now and i think it's about ready to be unleashed upon the world. Oh and the Fear and Loathing review will be up in a couple days.

The Wolfman Review

When i heard that Universal would be reviving the "The Wolfman" movie i was pretty excited. This could usher in a new era of monster movies, but if they're all gonna be like "Wolfman" than i'm a little worried. The acting is great, i thought that Benicio del Toro was the perfect Lawrence Talbot, Anthony Hopkins once again pulls off the likable creepy guy, and the movie has Hugo Waving (Agent Smith from "The Matrix") as an inspector who has little impact on the story at all.The effects are great, and the transformation scene is eerie and awesome. The story starts out pretty good, but once Lawrence becomes the Wolfman it all goes down hill. What was a somewhat pleasently pace movie turned into some hyper action movie, out of nowhere! This is the second worst part of the movie, the worst thing about this film is that there are TOO MANY JUMP SCARES. It's safe to say there was at least one jump scare every ten minutes...im not exaggerating. The movie turns into a cheap slasher flick about 20 minutes in and it has a lot of trouble redeeming itself. Oh yeah and if you're opposed to violence keep in mind this movie is VERY GORY, teetering on absurd. So as much as it pains me to say it might be a rent, i honestly don't know who this movie was intended for, but its a least not for me. i'd give it a 3 out of 5. Also, weird fun fact, Gene Simmons does the howling for the wolf.

Netflix Review Extravaganza #2 -- Civic Duty

The "War on Terrorism" is a pretty tricky subject to tackle, and i give kudos to anyone that tries, but "Civic Duty" might try to hard to please everyone. The film revolves around Terry Allen(Peter Krause), a laid off accountant who spends all his free time watching a fictional news channel that only seems to cover terrorist related news, and the "impending doom coming our way", which in turn makes Terry Allen paranoid of his new Middle Eastern neighbor. The movie follows a very "Rear Window"/"Disturbia" formula of man watches another man and thinks he's evil, this is where it trips up. "Civic Duty" does way too much back and forth on everything. The actors are pretty good at not being stereotypical but every ten minutes they seem like entirely different characters. The one thing i think it did well was to show what can happen to a person who watches way too much of the "fear monger" type journalism, but that's not saying too much. It might be a rent, if you're into thrillers, but it tries to tackle too many issues and never has a clear message. All in all i think it deserves a 2 out of 5. Next up is the hallucinogenic mind-bender that is "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

Netflix Review Extravaganza #1 -- Omega Man

"Omega Man" is the second movie adaptation of the book "I Am Legend", which you may know as the Will Smith movie that came out a couple years ago. This movie is pretty bad,and i usually enjoy the original properties. My first issue is with the "monsters". In this version they're just albino dudes in black robes who hate technology, No special powers just an aversion to light. It's hard to feel intimidated by them, and at least in the Will Smith movie you kinda feel sorry for them at a point. Its just Charlton Heston fighting albino dudes, which brings me to the next big problem...Charlton Heston. The whole film is him just hanging out shootin' people, at like one point they allude that he might be crazy, but it never goes anywhere. I don't know if it was just me but I thought Will Smith was fantastic in "I Am Legend." He conveyed some real emotion, and it felt like Robert Neville was on the verge of losing it. Charlton on the other hand acts more like James Bond, which is really off-putting considering he's the "last man on Earth", he should have some emotional baggage. Over all, don't see it, while the Will Smith version has issues it has much more going on than just an average shoot-em up. If i had to rate it i'd give it 2 stars out of 5. Next up is "Civic Duty", i know nothing about this so it should be fun.

My Stupid Endeavor

So, Netflix is pretty cool. So cool in fact that i currently have over 150 movies/tv shows in my instant que. I've decided that im gonna methodically go through each one and "review" them. Theres everything from classic cinema to crappy rip-offs so expect to start seeing these soon, maybe two or three a week...maybe, first up is "Omega Man"